On Love

February 18, 2015
In the spirit of Valentine’s Day, friends (and friends of friends) talk about love and what makes it last.
NATHAN & PATRICIA
We heard about these fantastic notes from Nathan to Patricia (the top two are his marriage proposal to her, on index cards) and wanted to hear more. Lawrence, Nathan’s son and father to a friend of our graphic designer, Stef P., tells us about them below.

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Å“I don’t recall ever receiving marriage advice from my father. As an example, he was an unusually patient, kindly, and thoughtful person who listened wella useful attribute with my mother. My mother was lively, energetic, and friendly but subject to self-doubt from a hard childhood. My father was infinitely reliable and I don’t think broke a promise in his life. He gave her a strong foundation; she knew he would always have her back; she gave him wings. They got each other’s jokes. I think they knew each other’s flaws but admired each other. Or call it what it was: they loved each other.

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They met their junior year in a class at Brooklyn College. She sat near the front and talked to her friend through class; he sat near the back taking notes and never talked. She passed him a note one day asking why he never talked; was he mute? Or was he, perhaps, an immigrant and ashamed of his accent? Don’t be ashamed! He met her after class to assure her that he could talk (he was born in New York). Senior year they took all their classes together. He told me that up until he met my mother he had a straight-A average and afterwards began getting some Bs. After his death, I saw his transcript and found this was true. He also said it was worth it.

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They were married when he was 21 and she 20 and stayed married for 59 years, until she died in 2006. They had three children and raised us in Manhattan and Queens. Especially for his era, and considering that he often worked two or sometimes three jobs, my father was very much a hands-on dad. He diapered babies, read to us, sang to us, drew pictures. The last conversation I had with my mother, she mentioned that he didn’t drive. I jokingly said ËHe has his good points.’ She sprang to his defense: ËHe has many good points! He’s brilliant, he’s funny, he’s kind! Then, she added Ëbut he doesn’t drive.’My mother used to say it was a mistake to marry a docile wife. This was not a mistake my father made.
ASHLEY & GABE
Ashley Rodriguez pens the foodie blog Not Without Salt (a personal favorite of our copywriter, Nicole P.), and has just published a cookbook called Date Night In. She and her husband Gabe have three children, Baron, Roman, and Ivy Jane.

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Å“Gabe and I met in college. He always had girls hanging around him, and a smile that made everyone want to be his friend. We played it pretty cool for a while but those around us knew that I only wanted to be with him, and he with me. Though I never had Ëthat moment’, per se, of knowing he was the one. At first that worried me, but eventually I realized it was more a matter of choice than fate, or the whole idea of soul mates. When I thought about it like that I knew I’d be crazy not to choose him.There is so much more to relationships than butterflies, fireworks, or grand romantic gestures. Some days you’ll miss that and I’m not saying it’s never there, but you’ll grow to see romance in the everydaycups of coffee; him taking the kids out so I can get some quiet; quick glances at each other when the littles do something adorable that say: Those are ours! How amazing is that?!
DEBRA & NEIL
Debra Moreland designs hairpieces and veils for BHLDN. She and her husband Neil first met in high school, and then again at art school. They have two daughters, Hanna and Ruth.

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Å“We were married at The Golden Lamb, a historic hotel in Ohio, and the invitees were all present at the time of the ceremony except for our Minister and his wife. When they finally arrived an hour late, they told us that they had planned to see the College Football Hall of Fame before the wedding, which they did. They would’ve made it to the wedding in plenty of time; however what they hadn’t planned on was Bob’s loafer slipping off as he attempted a field goal at an exhibit in the museumon the same day that President Jerry Ford was in attendance; his Secret Servicemen wouldn’t let Bob or anyone else in to retrieve the shoe until the President had cleared the area.This goes to show that no matter how hard any of us try, there’s always an errant loafer (or any other thing under the sun) which none of us could ever anticipate, or make up, let alone plan for. That’s marriage in a nutshelllearning to adapt, to be patient, to have faith that things will work out in the end, and most importantly, to love.

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Debra drew this when she was 30; it’s what she imagined they’d look like at 50.
MYRA & MATT
Myra Callan of Portland, Oregon-based Twigs & Honey designs hairpieces for BHLDN. No kids yet, but her and Matt are proud parents to a Siberian husky and three birds.

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Å“We met in the summer of 2002. Matt was working in the yard at a home improvement store and I was working as a barista in a small coffee stand outside. He struck up a conversation one day and we began seeing each other. I knew it was meant to be once I realized we could both quote the entire movie Labyrinth. We’ve been married over 7 years now.My advice for keeping things from getting too routine is: Date! Have a good banter; keep things fun and humorous. Try adventurous, new things together like go-cart racing or archery.This way to BHLDN

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